"Too many questions that need an answer..." [ with cyclopticblasts ]

[worldwillendinfire]

The overwhelming emotion of the hour, at least on John's part, was anger. Anger to the point of blinding fury, and anyone that crossed him right now would probably find themselves on the receiving end of learning what it felt like to be the contents of an ashtray. Anyone, that was, except for Scott, because, while John felt he was completely within his rights to be furious with Scott for suggesting John had something to do with Warren's being hurt, he also knew that Scott, like him, would do anything in his power to keep Warren safe.

So he grudgingly had made his way to Scott's office, still angry, still surly and not in the mood for anything aside from sitting in the clinic wing of the mansion and waiting, hoping, and praying for Warren to wake up. But he'd talk to Scott, because at the end of the day, if there was a chance of helping Warren, John wouldn't want to be the reason they couldn't find it. He loved Warren too much to let himself destroy any chances they had of helping him... Even if he knew very little more than the names of the attackers, and what they'd done within the last moments before Warren went crashing over the edge physically, and John had done the same thing mentally.

He sat down on a chair across from where Scott was sitting behind his desk, arms crossed over his chest. "I didn't do it, Scott. I didn't hurt him. And Barry? Dude showed up and fucking did everything he could to help me save him. It was the Brotherhood. I could give you names if you wanted me to. I know who it was. But I don't think names will do any good at this point."

Comments

[cyclopticblasts]

Scott was usually patient and could shoulder a hell of a lot. The guilt was just obscuring everything for him, which really wasn't an unfamiliar situation for him considering how badly he coped with Jean's death and other situations revolving around that whole piece of his past. He blamed himself for Warren getting hurt, and even if he didn't know the circumstances surrounding any of this, he liked to think Warren would have at least alerted him and Emma that he was going somewhere to flirt with danger... if they had been there. But they hadn't, and now no one even knew it Warren was going to live, and if he did, would be be disabled long-term? Would his wings heal if they were poisoned. No one knew anything yet.

That was why Scott's patience had been extremely tested. The sheer lack of cooperation from John pissed him off, because if anyone should be cooperating to get answers about his lover's near-death, it was John. Then there was Barry, who was concealing something but Scott didn't know what or why, and yes, that made him pissed off at Alex too. Alex should be trying to do whatever he could to get the information they needed to save Warren. Why was everyone being such a goddamn difficult asshole with this when Warren's life was on the line?

At first, Scott didn't even look up. He had a laptop open in front of him and he kept right on working when John arrived. He listened, but he didn't issue an immediate response because he wanted John to know what the hell it was like to be ignored and not responded to. "What would you do if I told you Hank just called and told me Warren was dead?" he finally asked, eyes still on the laptop screen. Yes, it was harsh, but John needed to know that saving his own ass in favour of saving the ass of the person he loved, of his team mate, was not a friggen trait of the Brotherhood Scott wanted brought here into their world at all.

[worldwillendinfire]

There was a strong feeling of regret lying just under the surface of the anger for John, and whether Scott believed it or not, there was a lot of guilt beyond that. Not for the reasons that Scott probably thought, though. The guilt was coming from the realization that, if Warren had never gotten into this romantic involvement with John, the Brotherhood wouldn't have targeted him specifically. It was John's fault he was hurt, even if he hadn't been the one who did it to him. The Brotherhood had attacked Warren directly. It hadn't been the X-Men as a whole they were going after. It was John's lover. And beyond the guilt and anger was the regret... the sick feeling of regret that Warren could die, and John had never told him that he loved him. It had been something they'd always avoided... They were lovers... on-again-off-again... friends with benefits. But John had loved Warren for a long time, and he'd never admitted it to himself... much less to Warren... before now.

Scott's words definitely caught John's attention, and his eyes glinted with anger as his fingers dug into the arms of the chair he was sitting in. "I would go and slaughter every single member of the Brotherhood one after the other, and I wouldn't feel a moment of remorse for it either," he snarled. And it was true, at that. The bastards he'd killed on the roof deserved to die, and John didn't feel sorry about it at all. So what? It made him a killer. He was already a killer. A damn good one at that. It was why he'd even been a member of the Brotherhood in the first place. He had a conscience these days, but he saw no reason to be sorry that the bastards that hurt Warren were dead. Burnt to nothing more than ashes. Nothing was left, and they'd never be found.

"But we can't do that, right? We're X-Men and we're supposed to be held to some higher standards where they can kill the people that matter to us, but we're supposed to take the high road and try to handle things diplomatically first. Only resort to violence if we need it, right? We're not killers. Nevermind the fact that nature itself gave us the ability to kill when necessary, to protect the people we care about and ourselves, and to punish people who deserve to die." He wasn't sure why he was going off on this rambling tangent right now, but he met Scott's eyes and spoke very slowly and very clearly. "There were four guys on that roof. Four of them. I knew every single one. They were my old team. They fucking shot him off the roof. Point blank. Through the shoulder and his wing. I saw it all happen from a distance, and I got to Warren just in time to find Barry trying like hell to stop the bleeding. Which was pretty much the most useless endeavour in the history of ever, because there was too much fucking blood for words. I was there because they sent me a text saying that Warren had been kidnapped and was being held there. I would never hurt Warren. Ever."

[cyclopticblasts]

Scott was unimpressed with the attitude. "If you don't like the values of the team and what we stand for you, you're welcome piss off again any time you please. Not one of our members is tethered here like some sort of prisoner of war. If you are the reason Warren was hurt, then I seriously have no goddamn idea why you're making it so difficult for any of us to get the information required. Can you blame any of us for thinking you're hiding something? Until you give us any information to the contrary, then yes, I'm pointing fingers. Warren nearly died, and it's your responsibility as his team mate, as his lover, to help us find out why the hell he was targeted. That is above and beyond any cause and effect. But if you want to be an insolent little brat about it, go ahead. Just don't let the tantrum obscure the rest of us from making sure no one else is targeted in the same way. This is about more than just you, you little pain in the ass. This is about Warren, and all of us collectively as a team. Warren means something to all of us. You don't have a monopoly on the emotions associated with him getting hurt."

He looked at John with a shake of his head. "Why the hell did you not take someone with you? Do you realise how, what you did, put Barry right in the firing line? Yes, I have been the vocal one, but I am certainly not the only member of the team searching for answers. You played right into their hands! You did exactly what they expected you to do, and last I like, the Brotherhood wasn't just four members. They are now going to have an entire goddamn team of vengeful Brotherhood members out for blood. Your blood, and possibly Barry's if it gets back to them that he was there too. We're trying to form alliances here, not make more enemies!" Yes, he was frustrated more than angry. He couldn't help it, he was trying to keep it together and failing miserably. Until they knew Warren would be okay, he couldn't ensure he wouldn't be in a constant bad mood.

[worldwillendinfire]

"The values of this team, I thought, were not to kill innocent people... not to watch one of our own be hurt and do nothing. Not to allow anyone to hurt a human being who's done no wrong. But what about the people who've done wrong?" John wasn't whining. Not at this point. He wasn't trying to give Scott attitude either. He was asking a genuine question that mattered to him. He wasn't trying to be specifically evasive so much as he just knew that what he had to say about what had happened wouldn't help Warren. In fact, all it was going to do was make Scott that much madder at him. "I can't tell you anything that's going to help Warren, because honestly, I know nothing about what they did to him except that they shot him. I know who did it. And I know why they did it. You think I had something to do with Warren being hurt? I did, but not because I wanted it to happen or was working with the Brotherhood. They hurt him because of me. Because I left and word got back to them that Warren was my lover. They were trying to punish me, and they knew that killing him would do that a million times more than anything they could've done directly to me."

"Because I didn't have time to think about that. I got a text saying that Warren had been kidnapped and was being held at that warehouse. I was with Remy at the club, but he'd already ducked off to fuck some chick or another, and I didn't have fucking time to wait for him. I needed to get to him... I needed to save him." He shoved himself back, his hands on the desk, the chair sliding back away and stood up, pacing back and forth in place in front of Scott's desk before he stopped and looked back at him with a pained expression on his face. "They're going to be out for my blood already, because I fucking killed them!" he cried, throwing his hands up in the air in a sort of lost frustration that he couldn't begin to explain even if he wanted to. "I lied, okay? I was there before Barry was. I was there on the rooftop and it was like... Like they were waiting on me. They wanted me to be sure to see Warren die. I didn't have even a goddamn lighter with me, but when they shot him... The spark from the gun... I burned them alive, and I watched them die and turn to ashes, and you know what? I didn't feel sorry. I still don't feel sorry. I have every intention of finding every member of the Brotherhood out there and making them pay for what they did to him right now, and I'll be damned if idealism costs us Warren or anybody else. Maybe you're right, Scott, and maybe I don't belong here, but I would kill for Warren. I did. I'll do it again."