"I'm all alone and I need you now..." [ with lightninggavemeabs ]

[wreakinghavok]

The attack on Warren had thrown the whole X-Mansion into turmoil as everyone tried to figure out what had happened and what, if anything, was the best course of action. Everyone had opinions, but as Scott's brother, Alex knew how heavily it was weighing on his brother's shoulders that he had to make the final call with Emma. And even then, there was no being sure that everyone would go along with the plan, because John was so angry at this point that Alex wasn't sure what he might do.

But after the week they'd both had, Alex was convinced that the best possible thing for them was to try and rest and spend some time together. There was so much on both their minds, and there were things that Alex needed to talk to Barry about, too... Like the fact that, when Barry had been unconscious after inhaling noxious gasses, Alex had gone to S.T.A.R Labs to sit with him, not even coming close to fully explaining himself to anyone. He just needed to be near Barry. It was only when Caitlin assured him that Barry would be fine that Alex allowed himself to be called back home for a project he'd literally left the lab in the middle of.

Now Warren was hurt... Warren was hurt and Barry had been terrified that it was Alex... That was a heavy thing that they were both going to have to learn to face in their relationship -- the almost constant fear that came with the recognition that your other half put his life on the line on almost a daily basis to help and protect people. And now that it was sinking in just how much it fucking hurt facing losing people you loved, Alex wanted to hide away with Barry where they could be as safe as mutantly possible and just fucking hold onto him for as long as he could.

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[lightninggavemeabs]

Barry's breath left him in a heavy sigh as he hugged Alex back. He felt so much like a fish out of water after all of this that he had come back a full circle to self-doubt. Was he really just out of his league with all of this? People believed in him, but that wouldn't really cut it if he didn't believe in himself. He wished he had a way of offering Scott the evidence or proof he was demanding, but what could he offer when the only other witnesses were now piles of ash on a rooftop, and the other person who could support his story had done it and asked him not to tell anyone? Part of him wanted to go home, crawl into bed, and wallow in his own misery for a few days, but even that was barely possible with Dr Wells, Caitlin and Cisco wanting to monitor just about every move he made.

The suit was feeling restrictive and almost suffocating by now too. It was tight, it was hot, and it was digging into him in places he hadn't noticed it until that night when it felt like a burden to wear it and what it symbolised. None of this was worth it if helping people was just going to make people think he had some sort of horrible ulterior motive. And all of it was because he had heard Cisco's call that an X-Men member was in danger and he just reacted in panic and took off. He didn't wait for any further details or instructions, he just panicked that it was Alex and wanted to get there ASAP. Which was a few minutes, give or take. "I don't know if it's a good idea if I stay here tonight..." he admitted quietly, his insecurities shining through.

[wreakinghavok]

It was a few moments that Alex just stood there silently, holding Barry close to him before he raised up on his tiptoes to give him a gentle kiss. It had been a long and very hard day, and Warren was hurt, and Scott was on edge, questioning everyone like they were all criminals. He wanted proof people weren't involved... He couldn't be fucked with innocent until proven guilty. Alex wanted to understand, and on some level he did, but it wasn't fair that Barry was catching hell for it when Alex knew full well that Barry was the reason that Warren wasn't dead on the pavement somewhere. At least... he wasn't dead yet, and Alex hoped to hell that they'd be able to counteract the poison somehow so that Warren would survive.

"You're staying here tonight," Alex said firmly. "No one is going to hurt you without proof that you did anything wrong, and even if they tried, they'd have to answer to me. You need to rest and I don't want you trying to go home tonight. You're tired and you look like you've been awake for a week. You need to rest, and I'm going to make sure that, at least tonight, you get to do that and nobody interrupts you." He looked up at Barry and cupped his hand against his cheek softly, letting his thumb brush against the skin there. "Please stay with me?"

[lightninggavemeabs]

Barry might be a metahuman now with super abilities and enhanced healing ability, but he didn't have the ability to keep going non-stop. He wasn't a machine, he still needed to eat (albeit a lot more) and sleep. He still needed to shower and use the bathroom. He still needed to do mundane things like laundry and grocery shopping. This whole thing had exhausted him, and especially in the wake of accidentally revealing himself to his dad, missing he mom and Joe getting hurt. Or getting hurt himself. He had nearly been asphyxiated by poisonous gas dude, so there was that too. It felt like a huge kick in the guts that he had to meet Alex's brother like this and he actually seemed to not like Barry or want to listen when he was telling the wholehearted truth. And unfortunately, he was too decent a guy to just dump John in the shit and tell everyone he murdered a bunch of guys. He felt in over his head, and it wasn't a nice feeling at all.

He just looked at Alex quietly and then started to paced, twisting his fingers into his hair with a sigh. "I'm not used to any of this, and honestly, being falsely accused of murder or attempted murder is cutting a little too close to the raw bone for me to just shrug this off, alright? This has been a crap week, and I have no idea why I'm bothering with any of this anymore if helping people is just going to get me accused of being the one to hurt them in the first place for some sort of freaking personal glory."

[wreakinghavok]

"Hey," Alex said softly, walking over to where Barry was pacing and putting a hand out to rest on his arm. "Barry, babe, please... I'm not asking you to just shrug it off or pretend it's not happening. Because it is, and it's a heavy thing to carry. I'm asking you to let me carry it with you, because that's what people do when they care about each other. I didn't ask you to be my boyfriend so we could go through our hard stuff alone. You carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, Barry. And you don't have a whole team fighting alongside you. You have your team that monitors everything, but they aren't the ones standing beside you and facing what you face. I want to be that for you, at least on some level. I don't expect you to be used to it, because it's my team, and I'm not even used to it. This isn't how Scott usually is. He's upset and feeling guilty because this happened when he was away. It doesn't excuse how he's treating you, and I'm going to talk to him about it when he's talked to John."

Barry was so upset and agitated, and Alex wished he knew what to do here. But he was pretty sure the first step was getting him into comfortable clothes, possibly preceded by a shower. He held onto Barry's arm gently, and looked him in the eye. "Barry, babe, can we please get you out of this suit and into something comfy? You can shower first if you want. I'll get in with you, even, if you don't want to be alone... Or... I mean, it's up to you." There was nothing sexual or suggestive in what Alex was saying. The last thing on his mind right now was hot soapy shower sex. He was far more concerned with getting Barry somewhere that he felt at least somewhat comfortable, and taking care of him for now.

[lightninggavemeabs]

A shower. Such a simple act that had flown way off Barry's focus with everything else going on. "Shit, I stink, don't I?" he asked, stepping away a little to give himself the quick sniff test. Yep, that wasn't sexy at all. Sitting in the clinic getting interrogated and not getting out of the suit after the job apparently did no good for the suave stakes. Not that he had banked very high on having much of those to start with. He rubbed his hand over his face, stressed out and tired, which was never a good mix. He was hit with a pretty intense feeling of aggravation and annoyance at John all of a sudden, because keeping his secret? Really sucked.

In fact, when he stopped and dropped his hand down to look at Alex, his eyes narrowed a little in thought. Why should he have to lie to Alex? Was there even any point in helping someone if you had to throw your own reputation under the bus for it? "The people who did this to Warren were killed up on the roof," he revealed quietly, because screw it all, he didn't want to shoulder anyone else's secrets when they weren't going to support him in return. Barry didn't like feeling like this, it wasn't him. But he didn't know how else to fix any of it. No one listened to his dad when he professed his innocence over and over. What if no one listened to him now?

[wreakinghavok]

"I wasn't even talking about how you smell, babe," Alex assured him, and it was true. He wasn't concerned about that so much as he knew that, if Barry's suit was anything like his, it could be extremely uncomfortable after a while and make you feel like you needed a shower. "It's mostly just how you feel. A shower might help you at least not feel so bad physically. Once you get your body into a more comfortable situation, it's easier to deal with the mental side of things. At least... In my experience anyway." He gave Barry a thoughtful look before going to his dresser and pulling out the only sweats he had that he was pretty sure wouldn't be too short, and placing them, neatly folded, on the bed. "Do you want me to help you out of the suit?" he asked softly, meeting Barry's gaze. Again, there was nothing suggestive or sexual in what Alex was saying here. It was born out of the desire to help his boyfriend as much as possible.

"They were killed on the roof?" Alex repeated, deep in thought. "W... How? Who killed them?" But it was only a moment of pause before he met Barry's gaze again. "It was John, wasn't it? That's why neither of you have had much to say about what happened after Warren was shot. And Scott thinks you're hiding something... You are, but you're trying to protect John. Is that it, babe?" His eyes were focused in on Barry's, but he knew that his boyfriend wasn't going to lie to him. Not about this. And even if he did, Alex was pretty sure that was how it happened. "You can tell me, Barry. I'm not going to run and tell Scott. I just want to know what really happened."

[lightninggavemeabs]

Barry was starting to wonder if what he really just needed was to go to bed and sleep. He couldn't remember the last time he slept more than handful of hours at night because the temptation to just be out and about had been too much of a new novelty to him. Tonight had left him drained, way more than any of the other things he had done as The Flash where he hadn't really been emotionally involved. This week had done a complete about-face on him emotionally, and he was pretty sure not even going to talk to his dad would make him feel better about any of this. Not considering he was suddenly have a whole new realisation of exactly how his dad felt being wrongly accused. He just sort of gave a small shrug, because he didn't really know what he wanted. He unzipped the front of the suit and began peeling it off his arms. He was sweaty underneath it but it didn't stop him sweating, it just preventing overheating in it.

He made a small sweeping gesture with his hand. "Killed, or was it suicide?" It was a fair question. From what he could deduce, if you go after the known lover of an X-Man who could manipulate fire? Then it was pretty much a death wish. Though, they must have believed they could overpower Warren, as they had done. Why was John there too? Barry had no idea. It wasn't his business, and frankly, he didn't want it to be either. "What if Warren took his own life? Would that make my situation any less suspicious? No, it friggen wouldn't, because apparently no one cares about my innocent. This place is just full of people who care about their own asses and have no interest in whether it hurts me or not. Because I'm not an X-Man and no one gives a fuck about non-mutants here." There was an angry bite in the words as he shoved the restrictive suit down over his shoulders and at least got undressed to the waist.

[wreakinghavok]

Barry was definitely exhausted. Alex could tell, which was why he was fighting so hard to get Barry to stay here tonight. He needed to stay the night, get some rest, and think things over a little before he disappeared. And if he were being honest, after the hell Barry'd been through tonight, Alex was a little bit scared that, if he left, he might never come back again. Not that he could really blame him for that. Scott had made this an absolutely painful experience for Barry, when Alex knew full well that his boyfriend hadn't done anything wrong. Scott could claim all day that Alex didn't know Barry well enough to trust him, but that wasn't true. There were few people Alex had ever met who were as truthful and genuine as Barry. He knew that his boyfriend wasn't lying. He hadn't had anything to do with Warren getting hurt. Alex would believe that as long as he lived.

Alex gently helped Barry ease his suit off, realizing that this may even be more uncomfortable for longterm wear than the suit that Alex wore. "I... I guess it could be suicide, but... Sort of a weird way to go about committing suicide, don't you think?" He listened quietly as Barry, clearly upset, and deservedly so, explained how crappy he felt about this whole thing. "That isn't true," Alex assured him softly. "I care. About you and about your innocence. So do a lot of us. Rahne and Bobby... We believe you, babe." His arms wrapped around, pulling him against him quietly. "I believe you. For what it's worth."

[lightninggavemeabs]

It was only when Barry looked down to push the suit further off that he realised he still had smears of Warren's blood on his hands. He just paused, the sight knocking the wind out of his sails and took a few steps back to sit on the end on Alex's bed. His shoulders were slumped, and he kept his fingers curled over as he scratched at his temple with the back of his wrist with a heavy sigh. Maybe it was naive of him to just want to run (literally) out and helped people who needed him. He wasn't naive and he wasn't always a sweet, understanding guy. He could have a fierce temper on him, and he could hold a resistant grudge when wronged. But he didn't want to form some sort of angry feeling against an of the X-Men. In fact, he had been harbouring this probably romantic ideal that they could work together with a common goal on some level... or at least be functioning allies. Now all this had happened and he was pissed off, but in light of Warren's condition, the anger wouldn't do anyone any good.

He stood up and got the suit off, in a lot less efficient way than he usually divested himself of it, and let it drop to the floor at his feet. His tank top and underwear were damp from sweat, and only in place to stop chafing. "I mean suicide by default of being complete lunatics. Reckless suicide. Who gives a fuck? They tried to kill someone and I think they deserved what they got. But that makes me an accessory. What if they all go out there and tell the world The Flash is a murderer? I could share a cell with my dad, we might get discount rates."