x_muses | [Continued from WWW]

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"The chef here's actually really cool. He comes out to say hi to the customers when he's not stupidly busy. He actually kind of reminds me a little of my brother. But I don't think he wants to cook the whole menu at once. Then again, on the flip side of that, I'm pretty sure as long as we pay for it all, they're pretty much cool with it." He pointed out an item on the menu with the happy sigh of someone very excited about food. "Buffalo chicken sandwich? It's literally freakin' perfect. I mean, if you like spicy stuff."

"I've known since I was really young... Because I was born this way... Not to sound all Lady Gaga, but you kind of get the point." He laughed a little, glad just for the ability to do that at all. He knew a lot of mutants who'd seen far more than he had and were dark, broken, and bitter because of it, but that had never been Alex. He tried his damnedest to keep a streak of happy-go-lucky to his nature, and most of the time, it worked.

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Alex grinned as he called over the bartender and gave him their order. The poor guy was a little flabbergasted by the huge order, but he wrote it all down and headed over to give it to the cook, again leaving Alex and Barry with their beers and their conversation. "We can start with the chicken sandwiches. Then if you want a burger, they'll be glad to make it for you. Their burgers really are phenomenal. I'm serious, the small bars like this always seem to have the best food. And I'm glad you like spicy stuff. I do, too. So at least I won't kill you with my breath after I eat spicy stuff, if you're eating it, too." He didn't mention the fact that he was already thinking about if he could pull off a goodnight kiss.

"It's really not all it's cracked up to be," he replied, trying to think of how to explain it, but not really sure he could. "Our powers tend to start to show up once we hit adolescence. Mine showed up at a bad time, and I ended up killing someone. It was self-defense, and I'm not sorry that I defended myself. I just didn't mean for the kid to die. I didn't know what I was doing. I'm so sorry about your mom, though. I don't really remember mine. She died when I was small, and Scott and I were in an orphanage for a while. I got adopted and he was left there. It was the last time we saw each other for a long time." He paused, not even knowing why he did it, and reached out to give Barry's hand a squeeze. "It's okay to talk about hard times and stuff that hurts, you know. Everybody needs to get it off their chest sometimes, and I never mind listening."

"Gum. Always carry gum," Barry laughed as he slotted the menu back in behind the napkin dispenser. "Which I have no idea why I relied on that when there was always very little chance I would be kissing someone or even coming close," he added, holding his finger and thumb up a minute distance apart to emphasise his point. There hadn't even been any wishful thinking. Deep down, he knew his crush on Iris had just been respect. He knew her, she was his best friend, but that was all it would ever be. Maybe he used that to prevent looking for any other potential relationship because he was insecure about making it work.

He looked over Alex's face sympathetically. "Self-defence is a whole other story to murder. I'm sorry you had to go through that, though. I lucked out. A really great guy, who happens to be my boss now, took me in and raised me as his own. Which makes me even more guilty that I kind of gave him a hard time this past week when I was trying to sort stuff out. But we cleared the air. He knows what I am, which makes it a lot easier. He's going to help me find the person who killed my mom. I never really got over her death. I've been kind of obsessed with it, if I'm honest."

"Good call," Alex replied with a grin, rubbing his stomach. "I can't wait to get my grub on. I'm starving. I kinda got busy at work and forgot to eat lunch, so I ended up grabbing a Snickers to hold me over until I got here to eat, and... well, it's not doing a very good job of holding me over, because I think I'm about to have like... full on growly stomach situations going on here. I apologize in advance." He couldn't help the happy smile on his face, because honestly, Barry just made him feel good in general. He genuinely liked the guy already, and he was pretty sure he didn't want this night to end anytime soon. "Well, I mean... regardless of kissing possibilities, I'm sure the people around you at work and stuff were pretty happy you chose to go with gum. I know I work in close proximity with people sometimes, and if I didn't do something to tame spicy food breath, it might be really awkward."

"It happens," was the quiet reply with a weak shrug from Alex. "I mean, I was adopted and I had a sister, and this guy had already killed the son of the family that adopted us. Then he kidnapped us, and just... I couldn't stop myself, and I killed him. Thank fuck I eventually got help from Professor Xavier... He's the one who taught me control of everything. I'm glad you had a good person to take care of you. Everybody needs that... a family. Even if it's not how you pictured it. I think that's why Scott and I are so close now. Because we couldn't be before. I can understand that, dude. No matter how good the people who raise you are, you never stop hurting for the person who was supposed to be the one to do it. It's fucking hard, even years and years later."

"I ate a three course meal probably no more than an hour and a half. Luckily I'm not prone to motion sickness, or my new job could really blow. Thankfully, it's not me blowing chunks," Barry laughed, shaking his head in amusement. "The funny thing is, I used to forget to eat. I'd get so caught up in work that I'd completely miss meal breaks. Then when I tried to keep doing that, I was passing out all over the place and it got me hooked up to a whole new bunch of machines. The amount of blood that lot have sucked from me for analysis, I'm going to start calling them Dracula. It's been the weirdest few weeks of my life. Seriously, I spent nine months in a coma, then - bam - just like the movies, I woke up perfectly fine and walked out of the lab. Other than the dizzy and fainting spells from low blood sugar, I've felt fine. Which is pretty lucky, because I am one of the biggest sufferers of man flu ever."

He rested his elbow on the bar, turning a little more on the stool to face Alex so he could listen more intently. "It was an accident. You couldn't know what you were capable of. When you realise you're different to everyone else, life's hard to navigate through. I'm not even talking these powers. With what happened to my parents, I knew I was different. I just wanted my dad back, so I guess I never really opened myself up to letting Joe and Iris truly be my family. I always had an emotional block to them, so in a way, I've spent most of my life alone. It's a learning curve to change that."

"Seriously? That's crazy. But yeah, motion sickness would definitely be a bummer, between considering how fast you move and how much you have to eat just to keep going. It would be awkward to be on your way to help somebody and have to stop to be sick every few minutes. Definitely slows the process down." Barry really had a way of making Alex smile, and it was amazing how relaxed he already felt here. It had been a long time since his last relationship had ended, and a pretty long time, too, since he'd dated casually. He wasn't a big fan of casual dating or casual sex, which was why he was here, spending time with someone that he was attracted to, trying to get to know him better instead of just having a fuck and run situation. "Yeah, please don't go missing meals and passing out on me, okay? I'm having a nice time, and the last thing I want is for our date to end in disaster. But that's... That's kind of insane to imagine. I can't even think of anything comparable that I've dealt with in the past. It just sounds like... well, kind of a mindfuck."

"I know that, now," Alex explained. "But it took me a really long time to accept that. Before Charles met me and trained me how to control my power, I lived my life constantly afraid that I'd get angry or scared and hurt someone without meaning to. I'm just happy at this point that I can control them, and do it well, and that I have a great support system. But you're right about that. Being different... It's not easy, no matter what kind of different it is. I definitely get it with losing your parents and not really ever quite feeling normal. I mean, I was always the 'adopted kid,' and it's never easy for anyone to face being different. But you don't have to be alone, Barry. In fact, I can guarantee that Joe and Iris don't want you to be alone, and I definitely don't, either."

Barry snickered in amusement. "I used to puke on rollercoasters. Now I'm basically faster than all of them combined, it's a real mindfuck. It's just been generally overwhelming. Feeling like a guinea pig has been a lot to take in. All for the sake of science and all that, but I'm still going through the adaptation process. Like, trying to get out of the suit in a hurry when I was desperate for the bathroom. I nearly smashed my face into a wall when I tripped over. Or taking off to respond to a call for a job from Joe, only to realise I'm still in the suit and didn't bring my own clothes. I'm superhero fail," he laughed.

"Did you ever get nervous in the early days about what you could do? Or what the powers could do to you? I don't think I slept for, like, three nights straight worrying there would be some sort of weird side effect and I would die without warning from a heart attack or something. Then I worried I would accidentally get hit by a car, or run into something that would get me killed. It's one thing knowing you have this extraordinary thing, but not having any idea of the extent of it or any potential fallouts is scary," he confessed with a small, bashful shrug because he hadn't wanted anyone to think he couldn't handle any of it.

"I guess that rules out amusement parks as possible date locations," Alex teased. "You'd either get sick or get bored on the rollercoasters. And neither one of those is an appealing date night situation as far as I'm concerned. That's not really cool, though. I mean, if you feel like a guinea pig, and your personal feelings aren't being respected, then that's not really fair. You shouldn't feel like you're automatically required to be something that they experiment on... Especially not when it's kind of their fault that you're a metahuman in the first place. I think you may need a built in situation that makes it easier for you to go the bathroom, though. That's kind of important." He laughed and shook his head with a small smile. "I think you're better at it than you give yourself credit for... Just from what I hear about you."

"Very," Alex confessed. "I didn't know what was happening to me or how I could just... kill someone or hurt someone so easily. I was scared I'd hurt someone else I loved, or that it would end up killing me some way. You're right, though. It is scary. Very scary, and it's hard to accept when you're just figuring it out. But it's okay to talk it out, you know? I'll always be more than willing to talk to you and listen to you when you want to get things off your chest. And I certainly don't judge."

"I really don't want to tempt fate. In saying that, I love fairs and haven't been to one in ages. I remember how fun they were when I was a kid. Joe used to take Iris and me every year when it was in town right up to college days when I moved out and got my own place. I've got to give the guy kudos, he did try to give me the best childhood I could have, all things considered. I wasn't denied anything, I was just lost and a bit bratty when I was focused on not having my parents there." Barry shook his head. "It's okay, really. Honestly, a lot of what they're doing is in my own best interests. I'm far from a textbook case, there's no precedent. So they need to monitor everything for my own safety. What, like one of those backdoor openings they have in toddlers suits?" he asked with a laugh.

That was really comforting for Alex to confirm. Barry wasn't sure if it was just his insecurities at play. "You know the most mindblowing part? Going from being a no one to be a someone. People know what I do, but they don't know who I am. I like it that way. They don't need to know who I am to be saved, right? I like having that comfort zone of my boring life and my boring lab to come back to, and able to still be myself."

"Fairs are awesome!" Alex replied. "I mean, I've only been to one a couple of times, but I remember it clearly. All the junk food you could ever want, lots of fun rides and stuff to see. We should definitely go to a fair together sometime. I've always wanted to win one of those giant stuffed animals for somebody... Would it bother you if I took on that challenge in your honor?" he asked, his tone light and playful... two things he was really enjoying the chance to be. "Joe sounds like a really great guy. A special surrogate parent when your own parents couldn't be there with you. That's a really good thing to have, even though I know, just like anyone, you would've rather had your own parents. I'm glad you still had people who loved you. That's really important." Alex listened quietly, letting Barry explain, and gave a small shrug. "That's okay, then, but if it ever doesn't feel right to you, it's okay to say, 'Wait a second. I still have human feelings, and I'm not just an experiment.' You're still human. Just with extra powers. But yes. A butt flap. You need that in your life."

"I think that makes sense. The whole X-Men bit makes that kind of hard because everyone knows who we are at this point. Well... If not everyone, quite a few people. We get recognized. And the sad part is that people think that anytime a crime isn't stopped, or someone gets hurt, it's our fault, because we didn't act quickly enough. But we can't save everyone every time. It's nice to maintain a bit of your anonymity."

"Oh yes, the junk food. The biggest fail for a kid who got motion sick on fair rides. I would be having so much fun, though, that I wouldn't let Joe take us home and just seemed to bounce right back so I wouldn't miss out on the fun. He was always one of those fathers who stuck to their kids like glue if they were sick or scared. He sit with me in my room the nights I'd have nightmares about my mom, and he was always there when I woke up in the morning to open the curtains and show me the sun had come up, and it wasn't dark anymore. This was right after she was killed. It was a good few years before I really started to act like a normal kid and do normal kid things. And hey, go for it. I can snuggle with it in bed at night and overcome the empty bed syndrome," Barry laughed with a shake of his head. "The benefits of a butt flap. That could be a good title for an autobiography."

He nodded. "Yeah, I have heard stuff about you guys. Only recently, though. Before all this, I never really believed in superpowers beyond wishing they existed to get my dad out of jail. And I'm going to try my hardest to save as many as I can. So far, I have a track record of 100%. Out of all of two people I have defeated," he added, shooting Alex a sheepish smile. "The percentage statistics when you put it like that make me sound awesome. My ego is appreciating the boost."

"You seriously threw up and then got on the next ride?" Alex asked, a huge grin on his face. "Ballsy move. I've never really had a problem with motion sickness thankfully. And I can't say I blame you. As a kid, you can't let a little barfing get in the way of a good time. Sounds like even if he wasn't your dad biologically, he really was another dad to you. That's really special. That's what parenting's all about, I think. I mean, not that I've ever been a parent, but I get the concept at least. He sounds like a fantastic guy. And you guys are still close?" He puffed his chest out with feigned macho pride, and gave Barry a playful wink. "Don't you worry. I'll get you the biggest stuffed animal in the whole damn place! But then again, you could probably run and knock all the targets over, then do the shooting after, and they'd never notice you hadn't been standing there the whole time." Alex laughed out loud at that, almost shaking with his laughter. He couldn't help if there was still a part of him that was 6 years old and found butt humor hysterical. "Butt flap... As long as your butt doesn't flap on it's own, I think that's okay."

"Hey, better late than never," Alex replied. "As long as you're using your powers for good things, that's what really matters. I'm kinda glad you have them for other reasons, too... Because it means I don't have to try to hide who I really am with you. In fact, I can even talk to you about the good and bad parts of what having a superpower is like. But that's awesome, babe." He grinned and gave Barry two thumbs up. "One hundred percent is a pretty phenomenal record you've got going there."

Their drinks arrived, and Barry took a sip from his, and then laughed, shaking his head. "Not straight up. There was about a ten minute breather of Joe standing next to me rubbing my back while I was hunched over a trash can arguing with him that I was fine. Joe's epic on the Dad Glares though. I was a pain in the ass for him when I was a kid. I kept trying to run away to see my dad. He would always come looking for me. Find me and bring me home again. He never got angry when I did it either. It's all those little things you remember, you know? He really is a great guy, and I guys in all honest truth, I do have two fathers. Though, it's been a long time since they spoke. It's funny you should ask that because I had this sort of falling out with Joe once all this fastest dude alive stuff started happening. He was understandably skeptical, but he believes me now. Believes me and wants to help get my dad out of prison. For some reason, I'm thinking my superhero cool points would completely drop if I asked Cisco to put a buttflap in my suit. Plus, Cisco being Cisco, it would come with a running commentary of amused mocking about why I need it there..."

He was picking at the label on his beer, considering Alex's point. "I don't think I've got it in me to hurt people just for the sake of it. Even if I accidentally hurt someone, I've got the worst guilt complex known to man. So, what is it you guys actually do? Something along the lines of rescuing people like you, right? Cisco could probably give me an intricate and detail rundown, but I'd rather hear it from you." Then Alex called him 'babe', and Barry caught his lip between his teeth, managing to catching himself before a bashful smile or laugh escaped by putting his beer back to his lips. No one had ever called him babe before.

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